She made no attempt to offer Pam a seat and the Account Manager decided simply taking one might be a bad move.Having her stand rather than sit, waiting for Victoria to finish checking the report was a physiological tactic Pam finally decided. A little something to keep her off balance. She dimly remembered something like that from one of her college classes, one of the few she actually had to pay attention to as it had a female professor. Pamela wished she remembered more about it but as it was she barely got a passing grade in the course. Whatever it was, she finally decided, it was working.With a deep sign of astonishment, Victoria closed the files and turned her full attention back to Pamela. If she looked close enough, she might have been able to pick out the small beads of perspiration forming on the many exposed parts of the younger woman's body."When Paul Ryan promoted you out of the bullpen," Victoria started in a cold professional tone, referring to the cubicle space in the. Sure, there’s a loving part of me who wants you to have the pleasure that he can give you. But as I’m the one giving you to him, it’s like at some level I feel I’m the one giving you the pleasure as well.”None of this was new to Sue. Over the years we’d talked about it often.“But what about the pain. The fear. The jealousy.” After her experience of watching Grace and me together, Sue was really struggling to understand.I looked into my wife’s questioning and confused face and tried to explain. “Provided I know deep down I’m not going to lose you, there’s a huge part of me that gets off on these feelings. I’m not sure even I fully understand. It goes way back. But, Sue, honey, I can’t deny it. It’s who I am. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t like that. It goes way back.”There was a long pause. Sue was looking inward. Looking deep inside.I wondered if she was going to repeat what she’d said to Jenny. How a part of her wished that I wasn’t like this. That I was like normal husbands.
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