"Ever done this before?,"he asked me, and I lied and said, "Sure." "Then play with it," he told me, "Feel it up good." And I did. It felt good. Big and hard, and he had a lot offoreskin. I'd hardly ever seen a guy with that. But it felt wonderful.And all the time, I'm thinking, "You're making yourself a fag." I didn'tcare. The only time I stopped was when he started to shoot, and I pulledmy hand away. It squirted a lot, all over the floor. "You're cool," hetold me, and walked out. I washed my hands in the sink there for a long time that day. Icouldn't quit thinking about it, how it felt in my hand. And wondering ifMike's Dad looked like that. And feeling sick. I went a couple of days without whacking off. I just felt so badabout what I had done. I kept thinking I was making myself gay. And Ididn't want that. I didn't want to be gay. I just wanted him. Mike'sDad. To hug me, to hold me, talk to me. That's not gay, is it? It's notlike I wanted to be a fag. I still. What do you have in mind?" Stuart asked.Jamie showed him a message he had composed on his own computer that morning. Stuart nodded as he read it."I think this is a great idea. It hits all the right buttons as well. Do you want me to get someone working on this right away?" That would be good. If we can get the timing right I'd like to drop them on the way to the Dreghorn barracks to see Lee," Jamie replied"This is the Captain speaking. I'm sure, like me, you are itching to get back to blighty and settle some scores. I made a point of sharing the King's e-mails with you, so you could all see what a fine job Petty Officer Stevens and the other members of the crew did in the short time they had. It is my intention that the rest of us will contribute in a way that will honour their memory. Despite the crazy situation back home, I also want to remind you that the teenager known as Highlander is the lawful King of Scots and we will all treat him as such if we have the honour of meeting.
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