But it wasn't fair to take me there and not tell me what theywere going to do to me." She wanted to surprise you." She certainly did." She thought you would like it. Why didn't you just say 'no'." I don't know." I want you to tell her you're sorry tomorrow." Okay. Did you think I would like it?" I thought you might but I guess you didn't. You were nice to the stylistweren't you?" Yes. She was cool about the whole thing." Your nails do look nice now, very clean and neat."I had to agree. "I think maybe the pedicure was too much and Nikki showedup and sat by me. She knows I'm wearing hose now Mom!" Oh, now I see. There's not much you can do about what Nikki knows butthat's no reason to be mean to me or your grandmother. I'll talk to her." Nikki?" No, your grandmother. Don't worry about Nikki. She'll soon find somethingelse to talk about."I moped through dinner and avoided everything except minimal conversation.I kept trying to figure out who Nikki knew and who she would tell.. “Are you okay?”I looked up at Theresa and held out the letter.“Why?!!?” I croaked. “I ... I don’t understand.”“Neither do I,” she said sympathetically. “She said she’s a mess but couldn’t figure out what was going on in her head. She just kept claiming that she was a mess and you deserved better. She said she needed to be better. In the end, she just made me drive her to the airport and then take her car home.”I don’t remember much of the rest of the night. I cried some, but mostly, I was numb. I drove home, and the message light was blinking on the house phone. It was her.“Hi, Rand,” she started. “I’m sorry to do this to you. I really am. I listened to your messages a little while ago and wanted to wait until I knew you’d be at group before I called. Theresa’s going to help you get everything finished on Saturday. I hope she explained. I just ... You deserve better than what I can offer right now. I’m sorry. I ... I’ll understand if you meet someone. I want you to be happy. I love.
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