“He told me last night they have made love four times so far.”“Really?” my mom said. “The way you just said that, sounds like you are jealous or something.”“That’s the same thing he said to me last night. You sound like I want to jump my own brother’s bones.”With that, she stomped upstairs. Mom motioned me to wait a few minutes, then go up.I gave my standard, ‘Shave and a haircut’ knock, and heard her say, “Come in, Matt.”“Can I ask you a personal question, please?”“Depends!” she responded.“How long since you’ve been fucked really hard?”She slapped me hard as she said, “None of your fucking business!”“That’s very different considering our kiss last night. Did that mean anything to you?”“You’re only my brother. No, it didn’t, by the way!”“I felt something, I’m sorry you didn’t,” as I walked out of her room.“Wait, now I’m confused?”I turned around, closed the door and sat down on her bed. “You asked how many times today I made love with my girl. My two-day total is six. Now, are you. ”“OK. I’ll take your name off the list. Sorry to have bothered you.”“It’s no bother,” I said. “Honestly, I really am flattered. Ask again in a few years.”We said goodbye and hung up.“What was that about?” Penny asked.“The IIT Alumni organization wants me to serve on their board. I turned them down because I’m way too busy.”“Wow! That’s prestigious, isn’t it?”“I suppose you could say that, but how much free time do I have? And I can’t really take time away from Jessica when she’s available. I have to work around her schedule. I can do that with NIKA, karate, and the rest of my personal life. But things like scheduled board meetings don’t allow for the flexibility I need for Jessica, Kara, Elyse, Jesse, Matthew, and Baby X.”“Baby X?” Penny laughed.“Kara’s not sure like Jennifer and Elyse were.”“Do you have names picked out?”“Birgit Elizabeth and Joshua Stephen,” I said.“Birgit? Wasn’t that your girlfriend who died?”“Yes.”“That’s cool and creepy at the same time. You had sex with that.
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