I was kneeling behind Jimmy, pulling his hips back and forth, my penis buried in his ass, contemplating the most intense climax I’d ever had. My spine tingled. Jimmy seemed to like having my dick in his butt. Jimmy must be gay. Or, maybe just that good a friend. And a little gay. Then it was weird again. I had just fucked my drummer in the butt. I pulled my dick out, yanked up my underwear and jeans and crawled back over the seat while Jimmy did up his clothes. After Jimmy was back in the front seat and I was driving us home I asked if he wanted to spend the night with me. He smiled knowing that I was going to try and fuck him again, but I’d be prepared this time. Yeah yeah, I guess that makes me bisexual, but I’m the one doing the fucking. Jimmy said yes, so that night, armed with the KY I found in the hall closet and a condom I found in dad’s sock drawer, I fucked my drummer properly. He made me suck his dick first, but that was okay. I mean I had. Am I too unfeeling to care or has God abandoned me or what?" Oh, you poor man! You make my troubles fade to nothing! Have you talked to your folks about this?" No, they are big on God's Will and think that everything that happens is His action. They wouldn't understand why I don't just let the killing slide off me, since it was God's doing and not mine. But I can't believe that! I think that a proper man has to take responsibility for his actions. I think that too many people take the credit when good things happen, but blame God when bad things happen, even if it's because they messed up."I just wonder why I can't feel bad about killing another human being, even when it was the right thing to do." Sure you killed a man, and that's supposed to be a sin, but what about killing the Indians and White men who have attacked us since then? What's the difference? The first time was just a little more personal and direct, but, both times, you were protecting others from certain death. That.
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