No more wishing for his hands to roam eagerly over every inch of me. No more fantasizing of pianos and a home filled with love, safety, warmth, and family. All of these are merely dreams that can never be and if I hold onto them then I will never know peace. We will never be together and I know that, with every bit of my being, I know it but God, how do you let it all go? Something so strong and sure? How do you implore your heart of hearts to see reason and allow yourself to heal? How do you tell it to speak with your head and actually listen? To understand that this pain, this appalling heartache, could and will happen again if I continue to do this to myself. I know my dream is a warning of what will, undoubtedly, come to pass for me and that it is yet another attempt at my head trying to bombard me with rationalism. This fact is what holds me back and what keeps that impossible dream lingering. I understand that it is only my mind rehashing the trauma and fear in order to. As soon as Hans noticed the fire, or at least the smell and the smoke coming out of the wall outlet over in the back corner, he turned off the power again. He used the extinguisher to put out the fire in the area around the faulty outlet. "Hah, now I've found the real problem." Hans seemed happy that he'd managed to trick the real problem into giving itself away so easily. I wasn't certain, but I remember thinking that he had almost burned down the garage with his unusual technique for trouble shooting. He was happy though, and no one else but me would ever know how he managed to isolate the electrical problem. "It's fine for now, Kenny. Now that I know what it is, it can wait until tomorrow for me to fix it."Half an extinguisher full of foam still needed to dry first, but I didn't mention that to him. Both of us were smiling though, as we walked back to the entrance in the kitchen. I remembered to give Hans the money from Terry and Nigel, and gave him Jerry's list. I asked him to.
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