If I say ‘yes’ then it’s no longer a fringe benefit!”I smiled but shook my head, “Saying ‘yes’ is not a commitment to going to bed with me, it’s just an admission you would want to do it with me without the quid pro quo of singing with you. Two very different things. And I won’t be insulted if you tell me it’s purely because of the singing.”“You sound very secure,” she said with a smile. “Want to come home with me and see how good it might be?”“I can’t commit to singing with you,” I said.“Did you just turn me down?” she asked, hands on hips.“You have me thoroughly confused now. I don’t know the terms of the deal I’d be agreeing to!”“No terms. You come home with me, we fool around for a couple of hours, and then decide if we want to fool around again.”Which was what Jocelyn had recommended - a simple, casual, no-strings-attached love affair. I’d turned down Jeannette and Marie, though Angie had to factor into that, because they were her friends. But even so, I felt I would have turned. Unlike most women new to the convent, she had welcomed the stiff, formal habit she had to wear while she was teaching. It reminded her of what she was trying to do with her life now, and helped her close her mind to men in general, and Brady Hopkins in particular. It was inflexible, a mixture of subdued black, gray and white, and that comforted her, because when she had it on, she knew she could have no man. She had chosen that kind of life, but had also been sure she could never control her urges if she lived among men. The habit had convinced her she could. She had found that, while she still recognized that this or that man at school might be handsome, she could turn away from them all with ease. The habit helped with that.But now, she had no habit. It was still in that cart of dirty laundry."I'll go get it for you," said Brady, standing up.She thought of him handling her shield ... her underthings. If he did, she'd never be able to wear them again without thinking that his fingers.
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