Walked three guys in two innings, struck out one. But no hits! No hits at all, and no runs!More than a week later, Carlos gave me a start, on the road, against the Wichita Wingnuts. He had rotation problems, and this was pretty much a pitcher's version of what my stint with the Orioles had been like: I was Mr. Last Resort. That's OK. I didn't care why he was letting me pitch, I was just glad to get the shot.It was messy, I'll admit. After four innings, I'd walked five guys, balked a runner in from third, and we were trailing, one-zip. The no-hitter was long gone, too. A double and a single against me in the second inning. Three guys had stolen bases on me, too.And Parton hadn't called for a change-up. Not once, the whole time. I was just leaning back and trying to hit his mitt with a fast ball, every pitch.While we're hitting in the fifth, Carlos comes to me in the dugout and says, "You've already thrown, like, 75 pitches." Gettin' them out, though," I said, with confidence I didn't. The water shot over a small waterfall. They dropped six feet down. Shocked from the sudden submersion on the landing, they realized that it wasn’t safe. They crawled to the edge of the water. Both were shivering with blue fingernails. Their faces were white. Points of bright red skin peaked out. ‘Do you have a map?’ ‘I have no fucking clue where we are. The river did all of these turns.’ ‘Fuck, we have to explain how we got the Jeep middle in the swamp. The general’s plan depended on us. Say hello to a month of latrine cleaning.’ ‘Let’s be resourceful. There’s got to be a map around here. Perhaps, there is a hiking parking lot with a map. Or, we find a bus stop with a map. Let’s say that we orient ourselves, get on a public bus, and then crawl up on Perkins by foot. He’d never expect us on foot. He’ll be looking for choppers and fast moving vehicles. We won’t cover all the tree islands. However, we can perhaps get lucky with the one that we pick. Everything is forgiven for the.
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