Constantly they took the piss out of how I looked at her. But I couldn't help it, ok? She was perfect. Like an Egyptian goddess plucked directly from the timeline of the world.Her hair was long straight and dark black, verging on the edge of dark blue when the sunlight hit it at a certain angle. Her skin dark and tanned, bronze and soft like nothing you’ve seen before. And freckles peppered her face beneath the thick layers of makeup that she wore entirely too much of. Although her dark shadowy eyes and red lips did do things to me. So…?Anyway. We’d been best friends for exactly four years. Best...friends….I know I know. The friend zone right? But honestly she’s so far out of my league that the best I can do right now is stay her ‘BFFL for life’ as she so eloquently puts it. It's the only way to stay close to her. I’ve just resigned myself to the occasional kiss on the cheek and the incredible ‘you mean so much to me!’ talk when she’s drunk. That and viciously masturbating to her. They had one son who was born in a hard labor during which Papa Behr was present, but was drunk as a skunk. They had agreed upon a manly name for their son: "Jack". Mamma Behr turned to the nurse and said "Jack" and the nurse, a foreign exchange student from Paris, promptly wrote down "Jaques" on the form that ended up being the birth certificate.Naturally, Americans, who cannot speak any language well, including their own, called him "Jock".Imagine for a moment, being in Junior High School, in gym class, with a name like "Jock".Of course, he got so much shit in school that he went by "Bug" a nickname no one understood. But it was better than "Jock".He wouldn't let his mother call him "Jock" either, and she refused to call him "Bug". So he got called "Baby Behr" when he was at home.Baby Behr was a strapping young lad, broad of shoulder and muscled from all the woodcutting he had to do as part of his chores.Theirs was a happy, but poor family though, and while he had all the urges of.
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