But then again, I would have to have been stone cold dead not to be aroused by an email like this from the man I loved (and still love, but can’t have right now): “I’ve just been soaping myself in the shower, wishing you were here, remembering the touch of your hand in my hand on the trolley, the feel of your leg against mine as we sat talking, my hunger to again see and touch the beauty I know lies under your skirt. It all makes my heart race and my breathing heavier. I’m so hard right now, and I so want to give you all of my hardness and make you purr so happily again.” What could I say to that? ”Your words just sent thrills and chills throughout my whole body. Feeling your presence next to me is very precious, whether we are close to each other on the trolley or holding hands or making love. Every second of every day now, I yearn for closeness with you.” "Thrills and chills down my body, too,” he replied. “The way you look at me, touch me, just so much to enjoy about being with. We held hands. “You’re so awesome,” he said again, leaning into my hair and kissing me on the neck. I smiled. It was so romantic. About a block away from my house he stopped and turned to me. “God, you’re so cool, I hardly want to say this.” He looked up and away a little embarrassed. I wondered what it was about. “Well, see, do you know John, from the swim team?” I nodded. John was one of the skinnier guys. Still handsome and athletic, but a slimmer build than Steve, and he was shyer and more reserved. “See, uhhhhh,” he looked embarrassed, “well, John is, you know, a virgin,” he grinned anxiously, “and I thought, well, maybe that you could, you know, initiate him, into the ways of the world.” He laughed nervously. I gasped. “What? That Fuck? Seriously? I can’t believe you would ask me that.” I started walking away confused. How in the world? He grabbed my arm. “Wait Jane, please. I thought….” I stopped, turning back to him. “I thought that you were better than that,” he said,.
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