"I've read about your kind; I always believed in you." "I'm not Santa Claus, you know," I said. "I exist whether you believe in me or not." I was playing it cool, looking for a way to get out of the situation, but still, I didn't want to lie to the guy and maybe scar him emotionally for life. Or something. Humans are generally very weak and whiny creatures and most seemed to rely on fairy tales to get them through their lives. "Okay, I'll give you that," he said. "You're not Santa Claus. Oh, actually you can help me with a little problem." "Oh, here it comes," I said. "It never fails. Every time one of you humans enters the woods it's all about ass-fucking an elf." I pointed at him and wagged my finger. "You look at way too much porn on the internet, mister! It's like you people go on elf quests, or something! Don't you guys have human women to ass-fuck?" He looked confused and shocked and I immediately realized I'd probably been wrong about his intentions. In fact, he seemed to be. When she came on the line I asked if she remembered me. Of course, she said and I then asked her if she would have dinner with me that evening. She readily consented and at seven sharp I picked her up in front of the shop and headed to a really good steak house.Dinner was great. After dinner I asked her if she would like to see my home. She said she would and we proceeded drive to the house. I was in the midst of a remodeling project and apologized for the mess. She said she did not mind. Since most of the house was in disarray, lumber and sheetrock everywhere I told her we could sit on the sofa in the master bedroom As we walked the bedroom I noticed that she was limping a bit and I asked what had happened to her. She explained that she was still getting used to being on her feet all day and her left foot hurt a little bit. I told her to lie down on the sofa and that I would put a some liniment on her feet and massage them a bit. She readily agreed and I got a tube of Ben Gay which.
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