I cried for three hours afterward and almost bit off a sorority girl’s head when she complained about me being on the stair mill for over an hour. I hadn’t spoken to Jeff in three years, and my stomach does flip flops whenever I see him milling around the student bookstore. I had heard through channels that he’d taken on a job as a campus IT guy and makes boucoup bucks without a college degree. Bitter, no. Ok, maybe. Jeff rarely sees me, or if he does, he pretends I don’t exist. Which is fine, my middle finger was itching to come out since I put it in storage after choosing the thumbs down approach to road rage. Angry gestures are common, but disappointment and guilt stick with you. He keeps his hair short since if he’d let it grow out it would be an all out Jew-fro and he works out once a year and maintains a smaller pant size than I do. Jeff grabbed his to-go bag and paused, like a dog picking up a scent. I knew my period was coming soon, but I was positive it wasn’t going to start. I was the reward at the end of everything, I am Bi polar, denying my husband sex at first was the hardest thing I could do, with my illness the need for sex can honestly manifest as pain. So I took lovers. This went on for 32 years with one bad day when my husband in 2001 decided he was going to a new job, people were hurt. In 2007 he retired and went to work for another company, A major air logistics company at the airport, He had started from scratch, two years later I had been without sex for that long, My husband was again refused a divorce, and one night fell out of the aft bulk carrier of an MD 10, he was airborn in the army and rolled out with minor bruising on his back.Two months later he was in constant pain. he was in and out of the emergency room seven times, the last time all his systems were shutting down and had to be put on a respirator, Three days later he woke up without the ability to move his legs, A MRSA absess had cause his spinal cord to be crushed. Last year I.
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