All she said was ‘try not to let your father know…’, so yesterday morning when she’d brought you that coffee she stuck her head around my door and told me ‘for God’s sake get some air freshener in the room, it smells like a brothel!” Shauna paused looked thoughtful for a second and finished up “I thought I’d better not ask her how she knew… might have been pushing my luck a bit too much.”I was staggered, all I could think of was how the hell I was going to look her in the eyes next time we met! I said so. Shauna just laughed, “She’s much more laid back than you think, you know. She actually went as far as to hint that given the opportunity she would have had a pop at you herself.” I was speechless, my supposedly staid sister wanted to jump into bed with me. I mean as a woman she was quite attractive but for heaven’s sake, my ‘sister’… Shauna continued “if you’re thinking taboo, incest, what the hell do you call fucking me for the last twenty-four hours or so. I was still dumbfounded. “Since you object so strenuously to our budding friendship, what are you going to do about it? Preach against stealing lesbians’ girlfriends? Preach about the virtue of chastity? I would point out that all Jennifer and I have done is have some lunches and one dinner together, and discussed the problems of her setting up a catering business,” David said wholly accurately.“Then why does she dream about you, scream your name in extremis, and mention you every other sentence?”“I have no idea,” David replied, “And I imagine you are exaggerating as usual. I am right in thinking that ‘exaggerating’ is an acceptable politically correct euphemism for ‘making it all up’ rather than the word ‘lying’, aren’t I?”As the Vicar stalked off David thought, I wonder if there is anything in it? Nothing ventured, nothing gained, and Jennifer fits all, or almost all, my list of specifications for a wife. Nobody else has appeared on the scene and with this business set up advice venture I haven’t had time.
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