’ Whether good memories or bad memories, she’d give anything to have some memories of loving a man and a man loving her. She’d do anything to have a child. She’d do anything to have a family, to live in a nice, safe neighborhood, and to have friends. ‘Not realizing what I had in her, I ruined my chance,’ he said. ‘The last I remember, I was on a merry-go-round that continued going faster and faster and would never stop. I wanted to get off but I couldn’t. I wanted the amusement ride to end but, once it started, as if the carousel ride had a life of its own, it wouldn’t stop. It’s just continued spinning and spinning around with me standing in the middle of a whirlwind of money, alcohol, sex, and drugs,’ he said. ‘I’ve wasted my life,’ he said. ‘I’ve ruined my life and the lives of others. I missed my chance at happiness.’ She looked at him with sadness and he looked at her with sorrow. ‘I can feel your pain,’ she said touching his hand and quickly withdrawing her hand when he didn’t. You’re right, he didn’t get excited.”“You mean his cock was limp the whole time.”Rhona stood up and ejected the CD from the machine. She handed it to Candice.“You don’t want to leave this lying around.”Candice grinned. “I don’t know about that. I don’t mind people knowing.”“So was that your punishment for all that fucking around?”“Mmmm, that and a few other things.”“Did you get the idea from your Dad beating me?”“What if I did?”“It was never like that,” Rhona said.“I know Mum, Dad beat you because he couldn’t control himself when he was drunk. Andy was in complete control. I know Dad was guilty afterwards, and he was usually pissed when he did it, but he wasn’t a craftsman. Why did you let him do it?”“Can’t you guess?”Candice sat still for a moment, then looked up to lock eyes with Rhona.“I could never be sure. Sometimes I thought it was to stop him doing it to me, and sometimes I thought it might be because you liked it, or maybe he was a drunken sadist, no more no less.”“Clever.
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