Mom took another deep breath. “Well, hell... , “ she began. She looked crossly to the side. I was sure that was where Dad was lurking.“Dammit, Thom, you shoulda reminded me about the box, dang it!” She didn’t get a reply and seemingly didn’t expect one. “So ... Sweetie ... maybe perhaps ... like on his birthday ... your Dad gets really, really lucky ... if, you know, one of my girlfriends comes over on ... ahhh ... his special night and we...”TMI, absolutely too much information, but I was having a ball, teasing my Mom. Apparently there were many things I never knew about my parents. On the other hand, I did understand they were a vigorous, thoroughly affectionate couple, and apparently, adventurous. I had a flash memory of one time... “Oh, shit! You mean like when Aunt Janet came over and stayed the night?” I asked. “Aunt” Janet wasn’t my aunt; she was just a close friend of my Mom’s. Perhaps a lot closer than I’d known.“Ummm ... mmmm... , “ Mom mumbled. She didn’t exactly say yes,. I stop and take a drink from the water cooler, buying time and trying to clear my throat. It’s just to damn hard being Teresa. I find the right room number, and close my eyes for a brief moment before knocking on the closed door softly. The tan oak seems to mock me as I wait nervously for a response from beyond it. I wish I was Clarice again. Joshua opens the door slowly. His eyes widen as he recognizes who is standing in front of him. He turns around quickly and assesses the situation in the room behind him, then steps into the hallway and closes us both out of it. ‘What the hell are you doing here?’ he hisses as he puts his back against the door. ‘I came to see my son.’ Joshua shakes his head violently. ‘You don’t have a son, remember? It was just too much for you to bear. You couldn’t cope with chemo and doctor’s visits and just having a family in general.’ I stare intently at the grain in the door above his head, trying to tilt my head up high enough that the tears are unable to.
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