You grab me by the hair as you pull your soft cock out and force it in my mouth. You call me a fuckin' fag and tell me you're allowing me the honor of pleasuring you. I feel your cock harden and fill my mouth as you continue to verbally abuse me calling me a useless whore, a sissy cocksucker and a white piece of shit pussy. You tell me to caress your ass while I suck and I reach around and run my hands all over your wonderful ass while I eagerly suck your beautiful cock which is hard as a rock. You say "I'm gonna cum, you faggot cocksucker and you better swallow every drop". A few seconds later, you tense up and I soon feel your delicious cum filling my mouth. When you're done, you tell me "You were lucky I allowed you to suck my beautiful black cock. Now,get the fuck out of my house you worthless pussy".As I'm walking out the door I look to you, and as I do to EVERY man who allows me to suck their cock, I whisper, "Thank you". You're immediately pissed and tell me you ordered me. I do not consider this behavior unusual – it is virtually ubiquitous, in my opinion – particularly among the very young. Acceptance is not easy – life had to hit me over the head with a hammer every day for many years to teach me that I was not in charge, and that those who blocked my desires not only were not doing it to attack me (even if they thought they were), but were simply pursuing their own happiness, because they were not in charge either. So I have been brought to a place where I consider heroism to involve very little in the way of proactive behavior. Someone called me heroic the other day – it happens quite often anymore – and I gave him my standard answer to this remark. ‘As far as I’m concerned,’ I said, ‘anyone who makes it through the day on planet earth is a hero.’ And I do feel that way. In my opinion, it seems that we are all heroes, striving to maintain some sense of self worth in a universe that leaves the ultimate decision up to us. I don’t deny that I am.
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