"Hey, Mark? It's John. I've got a little surprise for you. Could you come over? Alright. See you soon."After he hangs up I ask, "What are you doing? You can't let Mark know about this!" Why not? Aren't you just meat now?" I thought you said you weren't going to cook me." I'm not, but I'll certainly have a few slices when you're done." But what if Mark isn't into this?" I've known the guy since forever. Trust me." He's gonna break up with me and leave, I just know it." I know he won't, but I'll tell ya what. If he doesn't cook you, then I'll cook you myself, ok?" Ok..."After talking for a few more minutes, we hear Mark's car park outside. He knocks, and John let's him in."Let me guess. That girl you talked to actually showed up this time and you've got her on that grill." I don't even have her undressed yet, actually.", he gestures towards me with his hand."Hi, Mark." Sarah? For real? This better not be some kinda prank. John, you know how long I've imagined her on the grill." It's no. " He said nothing, but simply rolled his eyes. Teenagers! I took a long sip of my wine and asked, "You know the thing you asked me to do? The thing you wanted to see?" Immediately I saw him perk up and look at me intently. Clearly his interest was piqued, and he wanted to know more as he rapidly nodded his head. "Well, I'm willing to do it," I said as calmly as possible, and after a brief pause added, "Under two conditions." Kyle's eyes went wide as manhole covers, as he sat in stunned silence. "You have to agree with everything I ask, or it's no deal. Do you understand?" Kyle nodded his head again vigorously, but I told him I needed to hear him agree. "Yea, I understand," he answered enthusiastically. "First, this is a onetime only occurrence. It happens once and we never even talk about it again." I took a bit of time to let it sink in, while Kyle sat listening intently. "Second, under no circumstances do you tell another living soul about this. NO ONE!!!!" I stated, staring.
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