"Why don't we jump 'em at midnight?" I suggested. "Swap partners."She turned to me, her eyes bloodshot from the pot and booze. "Oh, Steph, are you sure? I really want to, but I don't want to jeopardize our friendship." She held my hand, her eyes pleading.I thought about her husband Ken, blonde-haired, with a nice physique. His hair had started to recede, making him look older than his 30 years, but he was a good-looking man. I had no misgivings about having sex with him. In contrast, Dave was dark-haired, with a little bit of a gut, but also attractive (I married him, didn't I?). As long as it was a one-time thing, I had no problems with him sexing up our neighbor."Let's do it," I urged her, "But Ken will have to wear a condom." I had stopped taking the pill earlier this month, but better safe than sorry."Oh, yes." Jen paused, considering. "Dave's vasectomy is 100% safe, right? This is my fertile time of the month. I guess that's why I'm so horny."Suddenly I flashed back to our. We don't have a Code 3.5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it, as a mirror while he picked his nose.10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look' using different sizes of funnels.13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and.
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