“Come here, Billy, and fuck me,” she said calmly. I about fainted. I mean here I was a sixteen-year-old virgin who had only had sex with his right hand and his pillow, and the girl I tried to avoid thinking about wanted me to mount her. I ran. She followed, wearing a short robe that she didn’t bother to close or belt and stood in front of my desk, showing me everything I longed to see, all of it, every single thing. “Listen,” she said, sounding patient, “I’ve got all these guys dying to make love to me, demanding that I give it to them, a dozen hook ups just eager to drive me crazy. And I’ve never done it. I can’t let one of them deflower me and go around saying he got my cherry. I’ve put them off with blow-jobs, which I hate, hate, hate.” “Why me?” I asked, my voice cracking. She laughed. “You’ve got a cock, don’t you?” I nodded. “But I don’t know anything. I’ve never done it. I’ve hardly even touched a girl.” I ached, arched something awful and feared I’d come in my shorts. She. I didn't get it."I don't think so," Smithers said to Daddy.Daddy looked stunned. Did we hear him correctly? Was Smithersrejecting me? Rejecting Daddy's money? Rejection was a stranger to me at that time in my life, and my eyesfilled with tears.Daddy composed himself and asked, "Are you serious? The boy is afantastic zitherist."Smithers shook his head. "He needs a great deal of work to becomea world-class zitherist. I don't think it would be worth it for meto try. I don't think he has the determination to be great."Smithers seemed to be enjoying my assimilation of real criticism,something I had never received before. More than anything else in the world, I wanted to prove that SOBwrong. And he knew it.Daddy said, "If this is about money, I can offer you quite a bit."Smithers looked at me. Up and down. I shifted in my seat,uncomfortable at the first expert appraisal I had ever had.Smithers shook his head. "It's not about money. I don't want yourmoney. But I'll tutor the boy for.
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