"Everyone has sexual phantasies. You can't help what arouses you. By the way how did you choose Penthouse? Did you try different magazines? I see so many of them at the newsstands." "I tried several. Playboy is a bit too polished and soft, it doesn't turn me on enough. Hustler is more explicit and vulgar. Penthouse is nice, and, well, hot." What do you mean by hot?" The women are really beautiful, and they are very beautifully photographed. And er,..." "Yes?" They show pussy." Mom laughed. "What is it with guys and pussy? I think a vulva looks so unattractive." "Really?" You don't think so?" I think yours is so beautiful. It looks like a rose. I think roses are pretty."Mom giggled. "You are such a romantic," she said."Let me show you. Can I look in your make-up bag?" "My make-up bag?" asked Mom. "Sure, I have no secrets for you. Why?" I got up, opened the make-up bag at the dressing table, and took out her hand mirror."God, no," said Mom.I stepped back into bed, and sat behind Mom,. "It was as we got near the back of the church, that I saw her sitting there flanked by a couple of other women. Dee did not look very happy. And her presence obviously surprised Katherine, because Kathy's step faltered for a moment, but then she soon recovered her poise and with a smile and little nod to Dee, she continued with the parade. Dee avoided eye contact with me, or did I avoid eye contact with her?It was obvious to me that something had happened in this family that I knew nothing about. I knew that they had never mentioned Dee to me since I'd been reunited with them, but I'd put that down to them being sensitive to my feelings. That, it appeared, was obviously not the case.Outside the church, we had the obligatory photo call. I noted that Dee was not in the line up. I saw Estelle motion for her to join the line a couple of times, but Dee didn't move. In the end Estelle looked over at me and gestured with her eyes and head.She didn't have to say anything; I knew what she.
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