I scrambled a few eggs and made toast, yes, I'm a pretty good cook but just didn't have the enthusiasm in me to bother.After I ate, I tried watching a few of the English-language channels but quickly tired of it. I picked up a book I'd been reading, one that I thought I was really quite into but, after my time with Joy, it just seemed banal. She was a constant in my mind.So, I left my apartment and went for a walk, knowing I was headed in the direction of her apartment. It took a while but I finally turned the corner and there was her building and, as I counted stories, I saw there were lights on.I walked around her block, then traced my steps back home, not knowing what to do.As I walked, I thought about this fabulous weekend I'd just had with the most enchanting woman I'd ever know. I began to see just how captivated I was with her. I was even understanding that I was beginning to fall in love with her.The next morning, as I entered the office, I knew I had changed when I began. . After the horror and humiliation that she hadunleashed upon him... She had broken him... She had been the one whodrove him to kill himself... "It's my fault," she whispered, the tears pouring down hercheeks. However, as horrible as it was, Jeff's death was not a surpriseto Clarissa. She had known it since she had felt that moment of dreadand darkness a short while earlier she had known that Jeff was dead,even though she tried not to believe it...to hold onto some slim hope. Clarissa cringed with the guilt, knowing that Jeff would stillbe alive and well if it hadn't been for her... She had been so intenton punishing him that she hadn't even verified that he truly was theone who needed to be punished. She has tortured him... humiliatedhim... broken him. She had completely and utterly destroyed him, eventaking away his very body and life. And now he was dead as a directresult of her actions. But there was more... Now there was absolutely no way thatClarissa could repair the damage that.
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