I suppose I was an asshole when it came down to it. I looked at Joanne."I visited while you were still ... asleep, but I wanted to see you awake, too. You've never missed wishing me happy birthday," she said."I'm happy to see you both," I said. I hugged each of them and gave them a soft kiss. "You really shouldn't be here, though. I'm not very safe to be around. I tried to kill Josh. I could have hurt you just because I was startled." Joanne and I met at the airport in Boston and took the redeye. We decided to come straight here. It's so hard for us, Brian. We love you and we almost lost you." Nicki seldom expressed emotions so freely. Tears were on her cheeks. Keeping her emotions in check was part of the drug balance she was on. I didn't want her to go off the handle. I hugged her again."We'll sneak out like we sneaked in," Joanne said. "Adam and Amy are waiting in the hall for us. We just had to see for ourselves that you were okay." I will be. I'm moving to rehab today. I'll. The joy and enthusiasm she once exuded were gone. Even Michael often only got to exchange basic pleasantries with her after the service.I was at a loss for how to respond. All I really knew to do was to be there for her, but wasn’t sure what she needed from me or even what she wanted from me, if anything. I didn’t want to come off sounding as if I was criticizing her mourning process, either, so I decided to just let it ride for the time being.It all came to a head on Easter Sunday morning. Michael’s sermon sang the praises of the joy of the Resurrection, the hope that it brings, the promise for the future that it brings, and the encouragement it can bring to our lives, the promise that life in Christ is greater even than death.It was at these words that Lisa grabbed her small purse, stood up, and marched out of the sanctuary.Michael continued speaking, but his eyes followed her out, a trace of bewilderment on his face. I apologetically signaled to him that I was going after her,.
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