Sometimes wonderful sex…with the right guy…just does that to you. The one black guy at the gang-bang was not only a little thick but all of 11”. He had me twice that I know of that night. Most of the other participants just stood around and watched while he plowed my whitey bitch ass good and deep. They loved the sight and sounds of me taking him and he bragged about it later on messenger…there were pictures of me getting it that I loved seeing! He sent me a PM on the Tuesday following it.I was still in pretty bad shape – for taking something that size – and asked him to wait until the next evening. He agreed.There wasn’t much I could do except relax, keep myself lubed and take some Tylenol…I did. I wasn’t eating much of anything for all of the obvious reasons and had an irritated bowel anyway. Taking any meds at this time wouldn’t cure it because that also took time. In a manner of speaking – I was fucked. I still wanted that cock so the only thing to do was ask him to take it real. Sometimes I get curious to know what makes them so enticed by wrapping their hands around my throat as they penetrate me, to find what distinguishes these men from those who aren't so....differnet. But, just as the interest springs forth, it quickly dissipates by the lack of desire to know anything beyond the physical strength and endurance that they possess.I've developed a checklist for each of the men I take to bed. A strict set of standards that have become sacred and imperative in order to maintain my self-imposed "lessons." Each partner must have the physical power to bring about the most pain, and have enough tolerance and virility to maintain long periods of terrifying foreplay before finally sating their own urges.I am not sure how or when I became a slave to sexual pain, but it's now more a drug for me than anything else. It brings about a high, as well as serving a much greater purpose to me. Each slash of the whip on my skin or jolt of pain across my cheek have become.
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