She’s placing trust in you. I’m placing trust in you. Victor Dukov is placing trust in you. We all understand that you’re scared. I’m not gonna try to convince you that everything will be OK, because your life as a criminal is gonna be very difficult. But you have to understand that we’re doing what we can to make it bearable.’ Maria Elena said nothing. She was accustomed to being told that everything would be fine, that she had nothing to worry about. She was accustomed to being constantly lied to, to listening to pleasant words that had no meaning, mixed with threats that were very real indeed. Cecilia’s blunt statement came as a surprise to her, because she had been expecting to be told, once again, that everything would be fine and not to worry. She didn’t know how to respond, because she was indeed pondering if there was any way she could get out of the house, find some clothes, get her collar off, and try to escape. She couldn’t bring herself to deny that was what she was. They had not turned her away, but they barely achnowledgedher presence, and that wore at her heart. Since she had arrived, she hadcried every night, and for a long time, she could not pray, because whenshe did, she saw her father, and she believed God felt the same about heras he did.She was "unclean", and would never be anything else.Sadly, time could not heal her wounds; her condition could not allow it.She was reminded, every single day, that she was a failure; she was unableto ever approach the temple, much less God. No sacrifice, no prayer, couldseem to make any difference, and she gave up hope and withdrew intoherself.She did no more than the minimum to stay alive, and her only prayer now wasfor a quick death. Since she was doomed in any case, unworthy of ever beingright with her father or God, she just wanted her pain in this life to end,no matter what would happen afterward.But even that prayer had gone unanswered, and as the years dragged on, shegave up on even that hope,.
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