‘I hoped you’d like it as well.’ As well. The moment she said the words, I knew she’d bought one for herself. And I could already guess whose portrait would be beaming out from the garish frame. Taking pride of place on her mantelpiece… ‘Well, I s’pose we’d better be off,’ I heard Dad say as I carefully set my gift down on the coffee table, his voice sounding strangely far off considering he was standing next to me. ‘Don’t want to hold you up.’ ‘Oh. Right.’ Turning in time to witness him giving my mother another nudge, I experienced a surge of guilty relief. ‘No. I’ll have to go in a minute.’ ‘Where are you going, anyway?’ he asked while I shepherded them back out into the hall. ‘Somewhere nice, I hope?’ Damn. He’d had to ask. ‘Out to dinner,’ I said, then added lightly, ‘with a friend.’ ‘Oh, that’s nice.’ On the doorstep, Dad bent to plant a kiss on my cheek. ‘Well, happy birthday again, sweetheart. Have a lovely evening.’ ‘Which friend?’ I should’ve known that Mum wouldn’t let me. So, she went to bed sexually frustrated as hell andthat's how she woke up." I sighed. "And I'm still horny as hell."Kat's face was bright red, and she wouldn't meet my eyes. Suspicious, Ileaned over to look under the table, then sat back up. "I can't believeyou have a fucking hard-on from hearing that."She threw the bagel back down on the plate. "I'm sorry," she says, stillrefusing to look at me. "I can't help it." Slowly, she turns her head inmy direction. "I woke up this morning with it all stiff and painful. Imean, really fucking stiff." Morning wood," I said. "Happens to guys all the time." How do you make it go away? I had to get in the shower and turn thewater to freezing before it would go down."I shrugged. "Jerk off. That always worked for me."She shook her head. "If it happens at school, I'm probably going to dieof embarrassment." "Why?" I said, giving her a look. "It's not like it'sa secret."Her eyes widened with shock, then returned to their normal size. "Shit. Ijust got.
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