A drunken farmer comes home late one night holding a sheep under his arm. He walks into the bedroom and says “This is the pig I’ve been f@#king!”His wife says “You idiot! That’s not a pig, that’s a sheep!”The farmer says “Will you shut the f@#k up! I was talking to the sheep!”Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.One lady turns and asks, “Do you still get horny?”The other replies, “Oh sure I do.”The first old lady asks, “What do you do about it?”The second old lady replies, “I suck a lifesaver.”After a few moments, the first old lady asks,“Who drives you to the beach?”A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.Three women, an American, a Kiwi and a Australian Woman, were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.The American woman said ‘Have you ever had a hug?’ The man said ‘No, ‘ so she gave him a hug and walked on.The Kiwi woman said, ‘Have you ever had a kiss?’ The man said, ‘No, ‘ so she gave him a kiss and walked on.The. At his first opportunity after the introductions were made, Jack discreetly asked to speak to Ashleigh in the hallway. Not knowing what he would say to her, yet knowing he wanted to say something, Jack led Ashleigh into the hallway.There, he grasped her slender wrists in a firm grip and asked, “What is the meaning of this? I was not told we would have a guest. What are you doing?”“Father, don't worry so. I have a present for you. May I have her while you watch?”Jack was flabbergasted at this. Did Ashleigh actually say what he thought he heard? Did she actually say that she was going to attempt to have public sex with this lacrosse-looking girl for his benefit? Jack could feel his cock begin to harden ever so slightly.Ashleigh reached her right hand down to caress the growing bulge in Jack's pants. She gave it a playful rub and coyly asked, “Wouldn't that excite you?”Jack felt trapped. “What if she doesn't want what you offer?'“Don't worry. I have this under control. I want to give.
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