His free hand left my other tit and he reached down to slide off my panties. As he braced himself above me, I asked “Do you have any idea how wet you’ve made me?” With eyes full of lust and curiosity he shook his head no. “I want you to feel how wet you’ve made me. Rub the tip of your cock against my pussy”. He lowered his hips and moaned when his hard cock gently brushed against the smooth, slippery juices flowing out of my cunt. He whispered “You are soaking wet….” He softly kissed me and we stayed in that position for a few amazing moments – hungrily kissing each other while I slowly rotated my hips and my pussy all over the tip of his bare cock. I could feel him trying so hard to resist plunging his rock hard 9 inches into my warm, wet tightness. I loved teasing him like this…curious to see how long he would be able to maintain control. I started to gently thrust my hips up and down, just enough for the tip of his cock to slide in and out of my pussy. He groaned and I was so. I went into them knowing they would end and always saved myself from getting too badly hurt. The flip side, is that I never really let myself be myself. I always catered to their needs and desires. Well, not totally, but it was better to be passive and agreeable than argue. And most of the time, I didn't particularly care one way or another. That's part of the problem right there. I didn't care.Shit. Jenny must be right. I am a closed book. So if that's the problem, the obvious solution is let myself open up. To get beyond the simple expedient of being 'the boyfriend' and allowing them to see the real me, which is terrifying to contemplate.Why was that such a scary thought? Fear of rejection? Well, I should be used to that by now. Except, I always took comfort in the idea that they weren't really rejecting me, because they didn't really know the 'real' me. They were rejecting my version of 'the boyfriend'.I was slowly realizing, that playing the boyfriend was a dead end, had always.
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