He had a thick songbook of some kind propped up, but he rarely looked at it. The arrangements he played were jazzy with flourishes and improvised bits, moving from song to song in a seamless way. Holly went with Steph to get our drinks, so I watched him without feeling self-conscious.All the arguments I'd carefully laid out for myself were annihilated by merely sitting there in his presence. He went through my heart like a strong wind, blowing every fear and anxiety out as easily as snuffing out a candle. I was overcome by the image of his naked body next to mine and his hands kneading pleasure from me like a potter's hands kneading clay. I was drowning again, but instead of swimming away, I surrendered and drew in deep breaths of him. After hours of agony, I was lost again in seconds, but it didn't matter because he was there and I was his. I was his, and it scared me clear to my bones.My reverie ended when Holly and Steph sat down on either side of me, talking to each other. Holly. I sat down and let go a sigh. He looked over at me quickly and snapped back to his game. “Almost done with this.” He added. Wait! That isn’t what happened that first time. Henry was sitting in his office chair, but he had unzipped his jumpsuit to his waist and tied the arms like a belt. He had on a brown tee shirt that fit nicely in the chest and shoulders. He did something right to have it fit so well. He was playing just a normal game of solitaire on his computer screen. My memory just got too excited thinking back to the first time I was offered to entertain Henry’s sexual needs. To continue… Henry turned off the computer, stood up and pushed the chair back so the wheels spun it towards the back wall. At first, he stretched forward, then, he moved his chin up towards the ceiling and loosened his shoulder muscles with his eyes closed. There was more masculinity to Henry than I had considered. And it was all right there in front of me. He engaged in several large extended zen.
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