"Football," I replied, and told him the story.A smile spread across his face. "Drop your trousers," he said, gleefully."What?" I demanded."You heard me!" he said, sharply, a laugh in his voice. "Drop 'em!"I looked at him for a moment, then unbuckled my belt and dropped my pants.Arthur grinned, leaned forward, and grabbed my calves, squeezing lightly; then repeated with my thighs."Arthur," I said, "are you gay?" No," he laughed, "we just won."The next day in court, the prosecution rested. Since the little bitch and her friend had testified against me, Arthur had the right to call either of them to the stand.He called Sherry to the stand; she understood she was still under oath."You witnessed this alleged attack?" Arthur asked."Yes," she said."Was my client clothed or dressed during the attack?" he barked.Sherry looked a bit stunned; she looked at Becky, who looked at the prosecutor, who in turn frowned. The prosecutor, a young manhating woman, shook her head. There was no objection to. You on your way to Bebe's or somethin'?" He didn't know it was in the opposite direction."Nah, I'm eighty-sixed for a week from there. We were just cruisin' around, thinkin' about smokin' a joint, when I came across you, walkin' around in the dark like a spectre." You sure seem to have a better vocabulary than any other rednecks I know. What's up with that?" Me? Well, hell, I'm really just another dumb redneck, but I got into poetry big time when I was younger. I kinda had a natural knack for writing and stuff, so I learned a lot of big words I can't use cuz no one around here knows what they mean." I chuckled."Maybe you are related to Tennyson. So, what, you don't write any more?" Nah. You smoke weed?" Hell yeah, but I can't right now, cuz I gotta go back in soon and they make me kneel down and pray with them before bed." He rolled his eyes. "They smell the smoke on me and they'll crucify me-- even if it was just tobacco. I doubt they know what pot smells like, but it's smoke.".
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