Even Mom, perpetually blind, could see that, and she let me delay until after dinner.During dinner, though, my dad asked what I was planning for my birthday tomorrow. He'd asked me about this time last week, when I couldn't think of anything—I'm turning seventeen, I've got no friends (at least no friends who I don't talk to through the computer), everybody hates me, my arms are bleeding under my shirtsleeves... Not a good time to ask about birthday party plans."I dunno, let me think, I'll have to make some phone calls," I said, reaching for my school's phone directory.'Chambers, Brandon' was first on my list for a really simple reason: because I needed to ask him what Sajel and Zach thought of me. I wanted to invite them, but I wouldn't even try if Brandon thought they'd decline. My self-esteem isn't that robust yet. (Though at least now I have some.) Brandon thought they'd be interested. "They like you, Arie. Maybe Meredith and Derek and I have been around you a little more. There is nothingabout her that comes close to appealing to me now. Not even the factthat we smoke the same More 120's. Chain smoking cigarettes for sixmonths and having to act and dress the way I do has pretty much killedmy smoking fetish. All I want now is out. I want to be Joseph MarkusSmith again not "hun" or "Sugar."Yeah Sugar that's what John calls me. He's another sore point. Sylviamakes me cook and clean for him every day. Since I graduated threemonths ago, I spend every day from 7 a.m. until 5:30 p.m. with that oldgeezer. With each passing day he gets more and more personal with me.At first it was just giving him kisses on the cheek to prove that I keptlipstick on but now I have to French him when I arrive to fix hisbreakfast and when I leave each night. While he is sticking his foultasting tongue into my mouth his hands are fondling my back and ass.That's just plain queer and it's disgusting but I have no choice. He ismuch stronger than me and Sylvia seems to be.
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