To college ke pehle saal se hi main aur sonam room mates thi and hum dono bahut ache saheliyan thi. Hum ek dusre se sab kuch share karte the aur ghumne bhi kathe jaate the. But phir bhi mere ya uske dil mein kuch bura ni aaya. Humara koi boy friend bhi ni tha shayad is liye bhi hum ek dusre ke saath zaada time spend kar lete the.Kyunki hum zaada time kathe hi rehte the, hamare liye ek dusre ke saamne kapde badalna koi badi baat ni thi. Ye baat hai second year ki, main jab ghar gayi thi to main akeli hi under garments kharidne gayi thi. Mujhe zaada ni pata tha tab kyunki meri mom hi mere kapdon ki shopping karti thi. Us din mom ko koi aur kaam tha isi liye unhone mujhe bhej diya. Maine jaake jab udhar dekha to bahut hi achi. Sexy bra and panty padi thi. Maine unmein se kuch utha li jo mujhe bahut achi lagi.Ek din main and sonam college se sham ko wapis aaye and bahut shak gaye the. Hamare college ki dress shirt and trousers hota hai to as usual room mein aate hi maine apni shirt kholi. Whenever I get asked if I am married and I tell them that my wife died in a car crash, they avert their eyes and look away. I didn't realise that I ceased to become a person to converse with the moment my lover was involved in a fatal accident. I try not to let it bother me, but it does. I want female companionship, but have to pretend that I am happy, when it is clear I am not. I hear the young ladies in my office talk scandalously about their boyfriends and I yearn for what they have. I have nothing, I just exist.It is bad at Christmas, worse in the months that follow. On Valentine's Day, the office was ablaze with red and pink as every partner tried desperately to show their "love" with overenthusiastic and flamboyant displays of flowers, cards, balloons and chocolates. Perhaps they just wanted to have sex later and had concluded that an opulent show of love would make their lovers more compliant. I tried to remember what I did for my wife, but couldn't. All I knew, is what.
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