“Hey Bill”, he called to his friend’s side of the suite. “Got a surprise for you, as soon as you’re finished in there.”Bill came out and “Holy crap!”, which made me giggle.“Hi, Uncle Bill.”“Your 15 year old niece here went shopping after school and bought some white cotton underwear”, Allen said to his friend. “She asked me if we’d like to see it. What do you think?”“What do I think? Are you kidding? I’m already turned on, seeing her in these clothes. Sweetheart, would you like a drink?”“Maybe some OJ, Uncle Bill. I’m too young to be drinking alcohol, right?”“Sure, sweetie. Of course.”I sensed they weren’t certain how to proceed, so I took charge.“Look, I’ll tell ya what. We’re gonna have some fun here, so why don’t you guys pop some more viagra and I’ll have myself some breakfast. An hour should do it, right?”“Hey. What makes you think we take or need viagra?”“Seriously? Come on. You guys are in great shape but you’re not 20 and last night you fucked me like a couple of young. He emptied the dishwasher every morning. One afternoon he started cleaning the garage--that was easily a twenty-thousand coupon job, and he didn't come anywhere near finishing that day, but I paid by the hour. He began to amass a nice collection of coupons. Occasionally he would part with five hundred for a quality hug, and I guess he spent maybe a thousand on feels, but that was all. I really hadn't reckoned on the fact that he's a natural born skinflint with money, so he was the same way with coupons. I finally had to print a ten thousand note and trade it for his small change.I began to get some mild urges that usually got satisfied in the normal course of things before I really noticed that they were developing. Finally I mentioned this, gently."What's going on?" I said, "Are you trying to get to be a millionaire?" Waste not, want not!" he said with a leer. "Don't worry, I'll cash them in some day. What's the matter, you got a problem?" Oh, no," I said. "Everything's fine."It was.
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