He finds this mixture of pleasure and pain for me that meld together and sends me to a place where nothing else in the world exists except for He and I.Our first few weeks together was turbulent at best, I tested Him for reasons I still cannot understand. I don?t know if it is because I have had this unspoken need to feel someone who isn?t afraid of who He is and therefore allows Himself to push for what He wants or what. I have served too many timid Master?s in the past which is why I see how they never lasted. One Master I served wasn?t timid but I found him to be as cruel and grossly controlling as my ex-husband.My Master now has a sadistic side but well tempered with His more romantic and sensual side as well. Nothing is done without purpose, be it pain, pleasure or that wonderful blend between them both. My testing period was short lived when measured by time, but when measured by pain, it almost seems like an eternity. The nights we spent getting to know one another were. I mean, I didn’t have her perspective, but I had certainly noticed how our parents and the other people we knew treated us differently. I had always felt a little sorry for Tiff the way Mom and Dad had tried to cage her in.“I’m sorry.”I leaned in towards her.“But I think there’s more.”She stared at me for a moment.“I… can’t. My whole life they’ve been telling me what I had to be. That isn’t something I can just let go. I’m supposed to think sex is dirty, to think that I should save my self for marriage. The hypocrites built me like this and I… all I can do is let go. ““Let go?”She nodded.“Completely. The night before last was the exception, I’ve slept with 3 guys and 2 girls, and the only way I could enjoy it without hearing Mom in my head was to let them drive. If I let them just… do stuff, I could enjoy it. If I tried to start anything, I couldn’t get her out of my head enough to really enjoy it.”She made another move on the board and looked up at me.“So that’s what I.
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