To do list; list 4 baby pigs numbered 1, 2. 3. 5. then sit back and watch them look for number 4.There are times when keeping my mouth shut is my greatest achievement.No matter how big the hammer you cannot beat common sense in to stupid people.Notice from the state of MontanaTo all hikers and campers using this forest, BE WARNED that this area has a large number of bears, both black and grizzly. Due to the frequency of bear encounters, you should wear bells on you clothing or walking stick to warn bears of your coming. Your should also carry pepper spray to use if you are attacked.You should be alert to bear activity and be able to Tell the difference between Black Bears and Grizzly Bear feces. Black Bear feces will have berries in it and may contain rodent fur. Grizzly Bears has little bells in it and smells like peppers.Phyllis Dillerisms...Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.Phyllis DillerHousework can't kill you, but. You remember Linda. The Exorcist’s sweet little Linda ‘Your mother sews socks that smell’ Blair? Rivers of split pea soup spewing from her rotating head? That Linda Blair? Well, 30-45 minutes after you quaff that first jug you’ll be directed to drink another, and I promise you’ll look at that second jug long and hard before you do, because at about the half hour mark your stomach starts to rumble. Not those pleasant rumbles that come when you’re a little bit hungry, no, this will feel and sound like you’ve just eaten out a Bolivian whore’s ass. Your gut will be in full-fledged mutiny as you drink that second jug, and your very next fart will be somewhere north of earth shattering…but don’t worry…because that fart will be your very last fart, and for quite a while, too. So, do you know what a ‘shart’ is? This is an important question as your second fart will, more likely than not, run down between your cheeks straight for the floor. This is a ‘shart’. And I guess by this point you’ll.
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