I thought back to the picture of Johan. I couldn’t help wondering if he’d talked to Erica, or to Amy for that matter. My big fear was that he could out me to my family and friends. After all, he was the only person back home who knew I was gay. I liked to think I could trust him, but there was always the risk of a slip of the tongue.“You okay?” Chad asked.I took a deep breath. “I should tell you something,” I said.“What?”“You said you wanted to know everything about me? Warts and all?”“Yeah.”I paused, then showed him my phone again. “I hooked up with this guy a while back.”Chad frowned. “Who the hell is that?”“He’s a guy I knew in high school. I just... well, I don’t like being reminded of it now.”“Me neither,” he said.“I’m sorry—”“You know I don’t like thinking of you with anyone but me,” he said as he put his arms around me.“I don’t either. If I had to do it over again....” But I didn’t finish my sentence.“How about you just turn off your phone,” he said, “and fuck the. My God I was excited! Afterward, I pulled back, discarded the condom into a waste basket in the booth, and quickly straightened up. I heard the door in the booth next door open and close, and a few moments later I unlocked my door and left. I never even saw his face, nor do I think he saw mine, so I have no idea which of the men had performed on me. In the car driving home I was filled with mixed emotions. While I had clearly enjoyed the thrill of an anonymous blow job, still I must admit I experienced a moderate degree of confused emotions as well. In the end, however, my conscience yielded to the excitement of the situation, and I knew I'd be returning to the bookstore, with or without Mary.When I arrived home I told Mary everything. Her reaction was what I expected it would be... one of excitement rather than condemnation. She was so turned on, in fact, we made plans to visit the book store the next afternoon.That night Mary was insatiable. Over and over she asked me to tell her.
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