"You're on."CHAPTER THIRTEEN That early morning conversation with Bob stuck with me. How would mymother deal with my situation? My grandmas? Gram would have beenkicking ass and taking names from the start. She was about five footnothing, 100 pounds soaking wet and possibly the toughest person Iever knew, man or woman. If she thought she was right, nothing wouldstop her. There was this one time when I was sixteen and promised tocut her grass, then blew the job off to go swimming with some friends.When I got back, she was standing in the driveway, legs spread andarms crossed. She started giving me shit about responsibility andkeeping promises and I told her to shut up ... though with a littlemore colorful language. She grabbed my ear, jerked my head down to herlevel and drug me into the house, damn near tore it off. When we gotto her kitchen, she let me go.I was stupid enough to take a swing at her. She ducked it, came upunderneath with a sneaky right and caught me square on the jaw.. “Sounds good,” my wife said. “But I don’t want the eggs.”“Then I’ll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you’re ordering a la carte,” the waitress warned her.“You mean I’d have to pay for not taking the eggs?” My wife asked incredulously. “I’ll take the special.”“How do you want your eggs?”“Raw and in the shell,” my wife replied. She took the two eggs home.DON’T MESS WITH SENIORS...A father walks into a bookstore with his young son. The boy is holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts panicking, shouting for help.A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee.At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the book store..
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