She’s just as confident talking on camera as she was with her voice-over intro. “When I was a little girl, I could never sleep, and I’d sometimes get out of bed to go and watch tv from the living room doorway ... My parents couldn’t see me when I was there, so I’d just watch quietly. Whenever my mam was out with friends, my dad would wait until I was tucked up and then put on his dogsex videos. He didn’t think anyone knew about them – I’m pretty sure mam didn’t ... But I’d be in the doorway watching them, and watching him masturbating to them...”Beside her, Renae is half giggling as she nods, enjoying the idea of this girl’s father being caught in the act.Cora continues, “I didn’t know that was strange, I just thought it was what daddies did. To be quite frank, the videos did nothing for me – and seeing dad do that wasn’t any kind of turn-on – but I began to associate that with dad being happy, and having fun ... So when UK of Zoo started on tv I would watch it and imagine him. I got up off the chair and went over to her. I came up behind her and put my arms around her waist and leaned my chin on her shoulder.“What happened?”“Nothing happened, not a thing, not a damn thing Brian. I sat there at the bar, had a few more glasses of wine, and watched everybody have a good time.”“Anyone try to make friends?”She shook her head, “No one said so much as ‘Hi’ to me.”We stood like that for a few minutes: my arms around her, watching the waves crashing on the beach. Eventually mom turned her head and kissed me on the cheek.“I’m gunna go sit by the water for a little while Honey. You should go to bed; it’s getting pretty late Sweetie.” she told me as she rested one hand on the table and kicked her shoes off. “It must me almost midnight.” She added.It was well past one.“Want some company?”Mom smiled weakly and reached her hand out to me. I took it and we walked towards the surf together. Mom was having a little trouble walking through the sand; every other step, she.
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