What did Fap say when he saw a dog licking his balls?... Thanks.Why does a dog lick his own balls?Because he can.A rich old lady’s birthday is coming up... Her three sons want to impress her. They each go out in search for the perfect gift.The first one, Frank, finds and buys a Swiss Chalet up on a mountain top. He sends her pictures and descriptions in her birthday card.The second son, George, orders her a brand new multi-million dollar Lamborghini with all the bells and whistles to be delivered on her birthday. He sends concept pictures and descriptions in her birthday card.The third son, Jack, wants something completely unique and searches the world for the best parrot available. He finds one that has a 10,000 word vocabulary in multiple languages and arranges for it to be delivered on her birthday.They all show up on her birthday and are greeted at the door. She looks at them and shakes her head. Frank, I don’t know what you were thinking. With my old bones why would I want to be. ”“So you have never engaged in any homosexual activity?”“Uhm ... Do blowjobs count?”“Yes.”“And getting fucked up the arse? Does that count?”“YES.”“Then no. Yugh. Aaannnd ... release. Pffff. Oops. Silent but deadly. Wanna open a window?”He stood up.“MISTER KING! UHM ... Whatever your bloody name is. You can try to annoy me all you want, but I know what you’re up to. This does not work. The machine does not lie. If you don’t answer my questions, I will report this to your superiors!”“Excuse me? Which question haven’t I answered so far? All of them, I think you’ll find. Now sit down, you fucking carnival barker.”“WHAT?!”“I SAID SIT THE FUCK DOWN, you pathetic fraudster with your stupid fucking box of wires.”I changed from being goofy and playful to ... to myself, actually. It worked.“Duh ... wuhh ... You can’t...” he said, now hovering over his seat.“SIT. DOWN. Or I will beat you senseless with that machine. You will sit down, you will ask your obscene, accusatory questions and then.
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