My heart ..."My vision grows fuzzy and unfocused due to the gathering tears. I'm notthis strong, perfect icon that Johnathyn describes. I think I see hishead drop down but I should be the one hanging my head. I came andstayed for vengeance. Pure and simple. Changing this world didn't comeup until way later. I'm not brave, I'm not a genius. I've got thesurvival instincts of a New York rat! I've been getting by on guts,bravado and luck but I'm tapped out. No more. A few tears trickle downmy cheeks. I brush them away, along with the next few more tears butit's a waste of time as they start to fall in torrents."Johnathyn ... I'm so sorry ... I can't do this ... anymore," I gasp betweensobs. "I ... can't do ... this ... alone. I'm sorry ... about ... everything ...let you all ... down ... Sorry ..."I can't see anything through the tears but I can feel Johnathyn wrap mein his strong arms, holding me gently against his broad chest. My armsslide up and I grab him round his thick, muscular. How fucking timely, I thought.“We miss you, Jim. I know it sounds self-serving, but it’s the truth. And by we I do mean the both of us. Yeah, me and Claire screwed up. But...” he said, and paused.“But?” I said.“Jim don’t take this wrong. But Claire and I were meant to be together. You got there first and put in your bid. She was ready to be married and she, all too quickly, said yes; and then you were married, and you were my best friend, and I planned to stay the hell outta the way but ... Then you two got back from your honeymoon and she was so beautiful, and well, I put a move on her.“It turned out she wanted me too, Jim. Weird ass as it seems she wanted the both of us. She and I made a pact. I’d get to have her sometimes, and I’d be there to cover the both of you financially and such...”“What the fuck!” I said.“Let me finish, please,” he said. For the life of me I shut up for the moment, and no, I don’t know why. I shut up, but I could feel my face twitching in anger at the very.
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