” “WHAT?” I gasped, I was ready to just keep going. Steve explained how he would jerk til he knew he was getting near, then take a break, “To make the pleasure last longer.” I had never done that, always just stroked away til I came. He leaned back against the tree and lit a cigarette. As I lit one I laughed and said, “I usually have one after, not during.” We talked a bit about how often we did it and where. Turns out pretty much the same, almost always at night, either in bed or in shower. After a few minutes we were both more relaxed and barely excited anymore. Then he surprised me by saying that this was not his first time jerking off in front of somebody. I kind of just stared at him open mouthed, “HUH?” He went on to explain that it wasn’t really in front of someone. That a few weeks ago at swim practice, Sarah, (who already had a great body and I kinda had a crush on) had finished her practice laps and when she pulled herself out of the water, she didn’t realize her. We’d have sex, but they didn’t have the fervor with which I had imagined it should. It was nice. And that was what kept me questioning. It was nice, not racy not vulgar, not numbing, just nice. I decided that should be how it was to be. After all, it was nice.I was the perfect daughter, the perfect daughter and the perfect wife. And I liked it, I liked perfection in every aspect of my life, but somehow, my sexual needs had started taking over my functioning. I’d find myself masturbating at noon, in the evening, and sometimes, at night, in the washroom, after I’ve had sex.A few years later, we had a child and had moved for good to Delhi, I happened realize that it wasn’t sex that I craved but fuck. I realized I wasn’t being fucked by my husband but been made love to. He touches me tenderly and I melt, he holds my breasts with great reverence and I smile and he inserts his penis in my vagina and I moan. Wonderful, one would think, and wonderful it is. In the beginning. After that one.
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