"Not even Ali's that stupid. He has to be wondering what happened to them, but he won't come here unless he's sure he'll win," said Jenny."Yes, he'll only go where he's sure he has the upper hand; plus he can't go too far afield because of his bail conditions, I suspect," I replied."True," murmured Gwen."As it is, Sam and I will scout out a few places where we think we can get at him and those he'll no doubt bring along, but we will need to use you ladies as bait as there's no way we'll get him in the open otherwise," I said."Then it will have to be just before the trial and a slip up giving him a likely location for Jenny," put in Gwen."Yes, I can't see him breaking cover unless he thinks he'll be going down," I replied. "Otherwise we'll have to wait till he gets out." The prosecution service think he's looking at about five years," said Gwen. "Jenny's testimony will almost assure it will." Then if he thinks he can get at Jenny, he will. You mentioned that he's gone after other. If he even cares about me to begin with? Etc, etc, etc. Insert standard sadness shit here, blah... As you know, I struggle with trying to distract myself with other tasks or activities that might help take my mind off how unworthy I feel - and how much wine I've consumed in recent months - but nothing is helping. I can't even find someone who is willing to hold me for longer than a few hours, without it being in between meaningless sex. Hell, at this point, even a friend would be nice. Someone I can just talk to who would be willing to listen and make sure I don't die from alcohol poisoning - or loneliness, whichever gets me first. I don't know how in the world I got to this point in my life but Jesus Fucking Christ, it sucks. I want my happy ending too, dammit. I want kids and a loving husband. A family to come home to that will be excited to see me with hugs, kisses and I love you's. I want my husband to come up behind me and hug me while I wash dishes in my sweats and an old,.
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