In some alternate world, thisscene was playing out as a meal between a young man, his mother, and hisgirlfriend.At nine o'clock Laura said she ought to go home, and we went out to thedoorstep."Whatever happens, Chris... remember that... that people love you, yeah?And that it will get better."I nodded. I didn't believe a word she said, but I wanted her to believeI did. At that moment, that mattered more than anything else in theworld. That was when she kissed me - my first kiss, and hers too, Isuspect - a beautiful, awkward moment, nervous and strange and tragicwith the knowledge that this whole new world was finally starting toopen up just as it was to be denied me forever.And yet I knew she was kissing me goodbye. Worse than that, she waskissing goodbye to a dream. She was saying goodbye to her stupid,adolescent fantasy where I somehow see the Real Laura through all theshallow teenage bullshit and fall hopelessly in love with her.I went inside, and I drank hot chocolate with my. . but I was wearing heels. AndJames and I were both the same height.I can't say I forgot about that physical impossibility, but it wasdistinctly pushed from my consciousness when James leaned in and kissedme. The thought of kissing him had of course crossed my mind on manyoccasions. It felt like the therapy almost had to lead there as thesensuality I was learning to experience was an extension of sexuality.And, oh God, did we ever like kissing. But where I thought it would be ahill too steep to cross... kissing a man... I instead felt my arms wraparound his broad chest and pull him in tight as I moaned into his mouthand gave myself to him. I can't say he was aggressive, actually he wasquite gentle, but there was no doubt that he was kissing me. I was beingkissed and not being the active kisser. I felt his body heat spreadthrough me as he pulled me in close, mashing my breasts against him andmaking me feel his obvious hard on press against my belly.When his lips left mine, I.
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