I wondered about my mother's state of mind, Iconsidered that she had always wanted a lot of power over other peopleand had found an easy target in me. Aspects of her power over me weregrowing more apparent by the day. First, although I had talked aboutHollywood gossip with her in the past, certain celebrity rumors I wouldhave once shared with her now made me too nervous that her response couldturn in a humiliating direction for me. I worried that if I said that Xactor is bisexual my mother would turn my statement back on me and say,"You like men too."She continued to talk down to me like I was a child. She would use thismocking tone and say something like "Baby needs his Mommy." Being treatedlike a child was getting into my psyche and started showing up in mydreams. One night I dreamed that I was spending the night at my mother'shouse and she was angry at me. She ordered me to completely undress infront of her and I did what she said. She made me lay nude face down onthe bed and she. "The theatres," Sandra replied."You'll miss dessert," I said."Oh, I think you can manage without me," Sandra said with a devious smile on her lips."Besides, my date would kill me if I was late," She continued."Oh, whom are you going with?" I asked curiously."I could tell you, but then I would have to kill you," Sandra said with a happy voice but the look she gave me at the same time said that I would be wise not to follow this line of inquiry any further."Ok, have fun," I said.Sandra leaned towards me and whispered in my ear, "You have fun as well, and remember to be gentle."A bit puzzled, I sat by the table as Sandra kissed Jessica good-bye and headed for the theatre. I knew something was amiss since Jessica seemed more nervous than usual and I was thinking that I would bring it up after dessert. Instead of bringing out the dessert, Jessica sat down at the table gently grabbing my hand carefully avoiding the improvised candlesticks. She gave me a nervous smile and looked me in the.
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