I’d never lied about not loving Jill or not putting Jill and our family first. She’d always known that. But at the practical, real-life level her experience of me and our time together had been very different. A woman often hurt by life, I knew she’d tried her best to not get ahead of herself in terms of her hopes for me and our relationship. But the truth she was a single mom who earned a living taking her clothes off and being groped, and she’d met and fallen in love with a guy who loved her right back and who adored her daughter.And all of a sudden, this was being ripped away from her, the image of a Gorilla-grip plaster being ripped away from a hairy wound at the speed of light not beginning to describe the level of pain Veronica must have been feeling.Our conversation was so hard – hard for me, but so much harder for her. And after about three hours of talking, I headed home. Home to an empty house as Jill would be with Malcolm tonight. Ending the night, sitting alone, nursing a. However, I was still in a bit of a quandary. My decision of last night to quit was now scuttled. How could I abandon these sweet young (?) girls after what we had done and what they had shown me last night.Yes, the sex had been fantastic, but I had had sex before. Admittedly not as great as last night's had been, but before this. It wasn't just the sex, however. I had seen their longing and desire to lead a normal life again. They had not been the only ones to see something when they climaxed. I had gotten a glimpse of their hopes, dreams, desires, and terrors, as I pumped baby batter in to their sweet young (?) bodies. I didn't have a clue how sex connected all of those things, but they had definitely been there. So once again, I needed to decide what to do.I put some music on while I worked, but once again the lack of a decision and course of action in addition to the complexity of the work left me unable to concentrate. I needed to clear my mind of all of the doubts and make a.
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