In this place, everything was beautiful, everything was perfect, as it should be. I’m convinced that it is the memories of this place that made me want to love him when we left. I still go, sometimes, if I’m feeling too crowded. I go to try and catch that solitude again, so I can gather my thoughts and be whole. I try to catch the perfection, if just for a fleeting instant, of my past. All I see now, though, is the dirty, rotting leaves littering the ground, lying still where they fell years before, untouched by anyone who cared. I see the bare branches of winter trees, lonesome and ghoulish as they sway in yet another cold burst of wind. The air, no longer clean and crisp, is tainted by the smoke from my lonesome cigarette as its acrid exhalation combines to make an off-key melody with the distasteful rotting of the logs and the stench of dead minnows floating downstream. I feel like those minnows, damning those ever evasive waterbugs that skim the surface but never touch down long. Finally she drifted off, her sleep troubled with uneasy dreams, vague images of being hunting and hiding. Hardly refreshed Deirdre got up again. She wished she could take a nice, warm bath. As long as the priest was there however, that was out of the question. Grumbling she made do with the icy cold water trickling down from the mountain. She dressed hurriedly to get warm again, buttoning the purple shirtwaist with stiff fingers and smoothing the black and white striped skirt down over her hips. Her other pair of clothes was probably still damp. Emerging from her own secluded corner, she looked over at the mattress in front of the fire. Rory had his back turned to her, but she saw the tension in his shoulders. He was awake. ‘You can use the water now, if you want to.’ Not waiting for his reaction, she went to put a log on the fire and checked on the clothes. Feeling them still damp she moved the rack a bit to the side and bent to retrieve the blue petticoat where it had fallen on the.
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