She'd discovered a strength inside herself, and with it, self-confidence. She could lead a team of badass female killing machines into battle, and go toe-to-toe with the evilest monsters around, and she could do it while being herself, without having to conform to anyone's expectations of what she 'should' be.And she could also go out at night and dance all sexy with whoever the hell she wanted, and enjoy the attention she got for it.All because of Buffy.Buffy had given her her power, and taught her how to use it. Buffy had been a role model, showing her that it was possible to be strong, stay feminine, and remain true to yourself. And Buffy had loved her--physically, at least, if not emotionally.And then Buffy had let her down easy.Okay, so it wasn't as if she hadn't been expecting it. But then to see her again earlier that afternoon on the videoconference, and have her treat her as if she were nothing more than Lieutenant Satsu, Head of the Tokyo Squad… That had stung. And it was. She was going to have a chronic illness resurfacing after she turned 45, so we kept her case in the pending file and turned up the volume on her alarms so as not to miss any important developments. Then came her 50th birthday. When I logged on and brought up her file, the Internet was all over her life! What was up? When the 21st century arrived, and the Y2K ‘threat’ fizzled, everybody with a few hundred bucks to rub together was online. No problem. Every generation had some silliness going on—bathtub gin, hallucinogenic drugs, pyramid schemes—why not hers? This was off the charts, though. She had lost her job, and she was bedded down most of the days on a saggy old mattress using her health problem as a reason to atrophy mentally and physically. I had known that this chronic illness was going to be bad, and it was, but this was not really about illness of the body. It was mental and spiritual illness. Scanning her house was horrifying. What a disaster! The filth! It was a downright.
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