I think I was about ten when he left. I remember him arguing with grandpa one night. I don’t think they knew I was listening. ‘What about your fucking kid?’ I heard grandpa say. ‘I don’t want anything to do with him,’ said dad. ‘He killed my Martha. I’m just getting the hell away from this farm and that boy. I don’t ever want to see him again.’ I remember crying. How was I responsible for the death of my mom? I never even got to know her. I had often wondered what she was like and if she would have liked me. I think I sat there crying for the longest time. I remember hearing my dad tell my grandpa, ‘If you don’t want him, turn him over to the state.’ That’s when I heard my grandma walk in. ‘What? You’ll do no such thing, Harold,’ said my grandma. ‘If you send Josh away, I promise you, I’ll leave too. That poor boy didn’t ask to be born.’ It was the only time I every heard my grandma talk back to my grandfather. Bottom line is I stayed and worked the farm. I also felt just a little. I quickly opened the door, pretending to be surprised when I saw her there, and told her I was sorry and went to close the door. She replied it was no problem and asked how everything was fitting. I told her fine, and handed her several items that I was purchasing, and before she walked away to ring them up and bag them, took a final look at me and I could see she was holding back a giggle! I was pretty excited to have flashed her, and resumed trying on the final items. When I was finished I brought the rest of the lingerie up to the cash and she finished ringing me through. I told her I had kept on a pair of frilly pink panties and handed her the tag. This time she did grin and asked what I had done with my thongs. I pulled them out of my pocket and showed her. She laughed and bagged the rest of my lingerie, gave me my total and I payed and left. As I looked at her as I was heading out the door, I saw her smiling at me. When I got outside, I looked through the front window, between.
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