Are... mischievous.”“And these children are always male?” she asked.“Yes and no,” I replied. “Leprechauns are always male and always mischievous... except when they are female... and then they aren’t really Leprechauns... and they are evil.”I picked up another picture of a rune stone. “Or at least I think they are supposed to be evil.” I pointed to the stone and said, “That’s another rune nobody can translate. It might mean evil, but it often occurs in sexual contexts.” I laughed and said, “It could just as easily mean horny.”“Why don’t we hear more about these evil female Leprechauns?” she asked.“They aren’t Leprechauns!” I said loudly, looking around to see who– or what– might have heard her. “And the wee men get a little upset if you equate the two of them. They are wee lassies and that means that they are NOT Leprechauns! There are no female Leprechauns!”I looked around again making sure that neither Danny Boy nor any of his cousins were around. “I usually just call them imps,” I. I walk out have a cup of coffee thinking how bad I fucked up and pray she is ok hell I pray we are ok. I sit down in my recliner and fall fast asleep. I wake up to Ann shaking me, its evening she is fully dressed and is pulling a rolling suit case. I say Ann what are you doing she says she has to go away for a while I ask her if she is leaving me, she says not ever but she had to go heal her mind and body and it wasn’t right for me to have to be constantly reminded by her slutty ways with her body all marked up the way she is. I say where are you going, then see head lights out front and a horn hunk, she gives me a kiss and says I love you and walks out. AnnThe Uber driver puts my suit case in the car and drives me off to an ocean side retreat where I would spend the next month in therapy trying to regain my sanity from the crazy night of sexual debauchery I spent with eight men. When I arrived I am assigned a room given the daily schedule attendance is entirely optional the first.
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