"He played sports and I went to all the games. I mean, I wasn't the only girl that lusted after the guy. A bunch of us would go to see the lacrosse team just to watch him. We kept hoping he'd take up swimming but he never did."Ruth lifted her eyes at the reverence that had crept into Regan's voice."He had no idea I was even alive," Regan said, missing Ruth's look. "I was just like the other freshman girls. I did anything I could think of to get him to notice me. He never did. I mean, he spoke to me once and I almost melted but I was a kid. He was dating college girls. His family was big in politics. I think his dad was a lawyer or something and his grandfather sat in the assembly. He was hanging out with girls from Columbia. He wasn't interested in Barrett girls."Ruth nodded."Have you contacted him since ... you've blossomed?" she asked. It wasn't an innocuous question. Ruth was worldly enough to understand that Regan and Andy weren't likely to last in the long term."No," Regan said,. —was better off without a useless brother like me. I selected “no” again.There was no third prompt.Since I didn’t have anywhere in particular to go, I walked aimlessly around my small coastal Florida town of Navarre taking pictures of whatever happened to catch my attention. I’d like to say they were the best pictures I’d ever taken. To say that before my death a miracle occurred and I captured my last will and testament in photographic form.If miracles like that really occurred, maybe I wouldn’t have felt like running away.No, the pictures I took were as average as any other I’d taken. I took pictures of the noisy seagulls. Of the rolling ocean. Of the average looking houses on my cul-de-sac. Of the vast sky and its lazy clouds, but, most importantly, never of myself.By the time the sun started its descent beyond the sea, my day spent taking meaningless pictures of meaningless things came to a close and I reviewed the pictures on the sidewalk outside my house. Scrolling through them,.
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