My money's on the first manned mission toProxima Centauri being launched before it budges an inch.The sentry finally emerges at twenty past, sporting the supercilioussmirk of a professional bastard whose primary source of enjoyment ismaking life as awkward for other people as he can. Either that or he'sdecided to come across all chummy now he knows I'm on a bona fide errandand not running high explosives to the IRA."I've been on the blower to 20 Store, Mr Brookbank, and you're free toproceed," he announces, as though his stupid hat gives him carte blancheto control the every waking moment of anyone not in naval attire. "Iassume you won't be taking the car." Won't I? Why not?" Well, judging by the racket coming from it I'd say your big end's gone."I haven't the faintest idea what he's talking about. It's the kind ofremark I'd expect Sid James to cackle to Hattie Jacques in Carry OnCabbie."My big end," I repeat uselessly."It's the bearing at the larger end of the connecting rod. Invariably, Cassie was the last done. If she suspected she might get a treat, what was the point of eating the usual fare? ‘Cassie, eat.’ She’d go back for more and return for the treat. Not done yet. ‘Cassie, finish eating.’ She would wander over, look at us to be sure we were going to enforce the rules, then, reluctantly finish. ‘Okay, Dad, I’m ready.’ She would get at least two because she was by far the biggest dog. ‘You sure there aren’t any more?’ she would ask with her eyes. Cassie’s biggest downside, though, in our house was that she shed hair prodigiously. I’ll take some of the blame on the ill will it caused. My instructions were to get a small dog that didn’t shed all the time. I compared her to a German Shepherd, Great Dane, Saint Bernard, and immediately I realized that a forty pound dog was small. Looking at her hair compared to a Collie or German Shepherd, it wasn’t that bad. The first indication that I might have misinterpreted my instructions was that when my wife.
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